Getting Comfortable with our Children's Discomfort

I just listened to this podcast and thought I'd pass it along. Nurse Rona Renner and Dr. Christine Carter have a great reminder for parents. Sometimes, we need to encourage our kids to do things, even when they are expressing discomfort, because of the growth that can occur for them.

Since I had a "front row" seat to this story, I just want to say that Dr. Carter handled her daughter's discomfort very well!

When you're faced with one of those moments as a parent when you have to decide, "Do I push this and make him/her try it or not?," remember to think about the big picture of your child's development. Many things that are good for our children are not easy or comfortable at first, so sometimes we have to be okay with our kids feeling uncomfortable, anxious, and unhappy in order for them to have the opportunity to grow.

Talking about Summer Camp podcast: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/gg_live/happiness_matters_podcast/podcast/summercamp/

Teaching Teamwork

“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.”

-H.E. Luccock

In this competitive, self-focused era, learning to be part of a team is a valuable skill that is not often taught to children (or adults!). Kids participate on many sports teams, but often that experience does not end up being a lesson in teamwork. Instead, sports teams often become a competitive experience of trying to get the position or play time they want as an individual.

One reason for our focus on non-competitive programs is so that kids can learn new skills without feeling the pressure to win or be the best. We also want kids to learn to be part of a team (their cabin group) and be better team members. The experience of living with a group of diverse people in a cabin group is the first lesson in teamwork that campers learn. Campers learn to work together to keep their living area organized, do daily clean up, and get to where they need to be (meals, activities, etc.). They also learn to support and encourage each other and help each cabin member do their best at each activity.

During the first few days of camp, each of our cabin groups goes through a “Team Building” program led by our trained ropes course staff. During a variety of games and activities, the campers learn to work together to accomplish tasks that they can only perform as a group. They learn about listening, leadership, and how to work through conflicts. The communication skills they learn at Team Building are used throughout camp. Lessons like taking turns when talking, sharing leadership, and planning before doing are all teamwork skills that campers can take home with them.

For Session 4, our theme is “Teamwork.” Counselors will be working with campers:

• To help them see how they contribute to their team and what special skills they bring to the group.

• To teach them to communicate well as a team, including how to brainstorm without judgment, listen to others’ ideas, and work through conflicts.

• To focus on how they can be good friends to their cabin mates.

Making Friends at GAC

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.                                                                                      ~Francesco Guicciardini

Our theme this session is friendship.  While friendship is always an integral part of camp and one of our big goals, we are encouraging our Session #2 campers to be intentional about being good friends to each other and observant about what they appreciate about their friends.

Teaching Kids Kindness

“Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.”

-Marian Wright Edelman

Being a considerate, kind person who thinks about others is a great character trait that helps children form friendships and leads to a happier life as an adult.  In jobs and in future relationships, kindness will take our children “further in life than any college degree.” 

Friends: Finding Gold in a Plastic Era

“Friendship is the gold of childhood.” 

Michael Thompson’s statement stuck with me long after I attended his session on the social lives of millennial children at a recent American Camp Association conference.  I would go even farther and say that friendship is not just the gold of childhood, but also of life.    And, unfortunately, our culture is not currently supporting the development of healthy, solid friendships between kids.   Friendship is more important than any academic subject or athletic skill, and yet the way our kids spend their time does not reflect this importance.  For many kids, there simply isn’t time in their lives for developing strong, close friendships. 

Get Unplugged!

The January/February issue of Stanford Magazine reported on research being done about the impact of time spent online (link to the article provided below). It gave me even more reasons to celebrate that Gold Arrow Camp gives kids an extended period of “unplugged” time.

Researchers at Stanford (and I’m sure elsewhere) are investigating what many of us intuitively know – all this time spent online is not good for us! What’s most frightening is that we don’t know the full impact online time is having on our kids. It’s not just their excessive online time that’s a problem, but also the time we parents spend online. How many things are we NOT doing because we’re online? And what kind of role modeling are we providing? I think it’s down time, conversations with family, reading, and the pursuit of other fulfilling hobbies that suffer when we don’t turn off our phones and computers. We need to establish technology-free zones in our families to maintain the emotional and social health of our kids and ourselves.

A Stanford researcher (Aboujaoude) found in a 2006 study that between 4-14% of people surveyed admitted that a “preoccupation with being online was interfering in various ways with their relationships, financial health, and other aspects of real life.” What must that number be now – in the Twitter, Facebook, Mommy Blogging era? Many people can’t seem to stop checking their Facebook and sending texts and tweets even while driving! And how many kids and adults are sleep-deprived from too much late night internet?

Another researcher, Naas, observed that, “It’s becoming perfectly okay to use media while we’re interacting.” His example was that he regularly has to ask college students to stop texting while they are having a meeting with him, their professor! This is just one sad symptom of our ever-devolving social abilities. We’re losing our focus on the real, face-to-face relationships that make life meaningful and not modeling for the next generations how to treat live people. I will await the results of Naas’ study on pre-teen girls and the impact of their time online on their confidence and social skills.

With researchers finding that “the internal experience today is one of hyper-anxiety,” and there has been a “devaluing of thoughtfulness,” how can we afford not to tear ourselves and our kids from our smart phones and computers? Many parents already recognize the benefit of unplugging kids and themselves, and I hope there will be a cultural shift back to living in the moment and focusing on the people we’re with. In the meantime, I’m so grateful we have a place where kids (and the adults who work with them) can get outdoors, get off their darn computers and cell phones, and learn better skills at relating to people face-to-face!

Link to the original article: Separation Anxiety

Richard Louv's Thoughts about Camp

I really enjoyed this article by Richard Louv.  Like me, Louv is a huge proponent of getting kids OUTSIDE, in NATURE, and off those darn computers and phones!

Camp Revival, by Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods

The Power of Camp

“You’re sending Sophia to camp for TWO WEEKS?”

Shock is a common response parents get when discussing sending their child to sleep-away camp. They often face criticism for allowing their young child out from under their direct supervision. In this over-involved parenting age, the thought of allowing an eight year old to go away to camp for two weeks is incomprehensible to many parents. What “non-camp” parents don’t understand

The Gift of Childhood Memories

"The best thing you can give your children, next to good habits, are good memories."
-Sydney Harris

Making Memories with Grandma & Grandpa

     We’ve started thinking about what gifts to give our kids this holiday, and it’s difficult to think of anything they could possibly need.  Of course, there is an onslaught of ads aimed at our kids, convincing them that there are still toys, clothes, and electronic gadgets they must have. My seven-year-old adds to his Christmas list weekly and is especially focused on getting something he can drive.  Thinking back to my own childhood, I'm hard-pressed to remember many gifts I received.  And there is only one that I still have -- my sewing machine!

Nature Pees and Lanyard Fishing Poles

     Watching the campers construct fishing poles out of sticks and lanyard string, I had a revelation. Kids rarely get a chance to play like this any more. And, boy, are they good at it when they are given the opportunity!

    For the first time in many years, I went on a GAC backpacking trip last summer. Led by Kamau and Blitz, our experienced and fun backpacking instructors, Cabin 0 and I enjoyed a fun-filled afternoon and overnight at Indian Falls before returning to camp the following morning.

Camp: One Solution to Parenting Challenges

•  Too much screen time, not enough outside time.

•  Helping kids become independent adults.

•  Everything's a competition.

•  Good friends are hard to find.

     In today's digital, fast-moving, ultra-competitive world, raising kids who grow into healthy, happy, well-adjusted, independent adults has become more challenging for parents.  Gold Arrow Camp offers a traditional camp experience which many parents have found to benefit their child's development of important life skills.  In partnership with parents who are focused on their child's healthy development, Gold Arrow Camp offers a positive, child-focused outdoor camp program that counteracts some of the negative experiences children are facing in school, sports, social life, and cyber space.

Gold Arrow Camp took my city kid, who could barely ride a bike, and returned a sailing, camping, climbing, in love with the outdoors young man.

Jennifer Lansing

Chicago, Illinois

"Kidsickness": Help for First-Time Camp Parents

     When a child goes to resident camp for the first time, a lot of talk revolves around homesickness, the common term for the well-known phenomenon of missing home and parents.  Much has been discussed in camp literature about the prevention and treatment of homesickness.  Counselors are trained to help campers adjust to camp life and learn coping skills.  What has not been addressed much is the emotional toll a first-time camp experience takes on parents.  In most cases, the experience is harder on parents than it is on their child.  First-time campers find themselves in a fun, exciting environment.  They have little time to miss home when they are meeting new friends, experiencing great activities, and having the time of their lives.  Parents, on the other hand, are often at home missing their child, worrying about how they are doing, and figuring out how to fill time that is normally spent focused on caring for their child.  "Kidsickness" is my term that refers to the emotions some parents feel when they experience their first long separation from their child, which often is a stay at a traditional summer camp.