Getting Comfortable with our Children's Discomfort

I just listened to this podcast and thought I'd pass it along. Nurse Rona Renner and Dr. Christine Carter have a great reminder for parents. Sometimes, we need to encourage our kids to do things, even when they are expressing discomfort, because of the growth that can occur for them.

Since I had a "front row" seat to this story, I just want to say that Dr. Carter handled her daughter's discomfort very well!

When you're faced with one of those moments as a parent when you have to decide, "Do I push this and make him/her try it or not?," remember to think about the big picture of your child's development. Many things that are good for our children are not easy or comfortable at first, so sometimes we have to be okay with our kids feeling uncomfortable, anxious, and unhappy in order for them to have the opportunity to grow.

Talking about Summer Camp podcast: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/gg_live/happiness_matters_podcast/podcast/summercamp/

Teaching Teamwork

“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.”

-H.E. Luccock

In this competitive, self-focused era, learning to be part of a team is a valuable skill that is not often taught to children (or adults!). Kids participate on many sports teams, but often that experience does not end up being a lesson in teamwork. Instead, sports teams often become a competitive experience of trying to get the position or play time they want as an individual.

One reason for our focus on non-competitive programs is so that kids can learn new skills without feeling the pressure to win or be the best. We also want kids to learn to be part of a team (their cabin group) and be better team members. The experience of living with a group of diverse people in a cabin group is the first lesson in teamwork that campers learn. Campers learn to work together to keep their living area organized, do daily clean up, and get to where they need to be (meals, activities, etc.). They also learn to support and encourage each other and help each cabin member do their best at each activity.

During the first few days of camp, each of our cabin groups goes through a “Team Building” program led by our trained ropes course staff. During a variety of games and activities, the campers learn to work together to accomplish tasks that they can only perform as a group. They learn about listening, leadership, and how to work through conflicts. The communication skills they learn at Team Building are used throughout camp. Lessons like taking turns when talking, sharing leadership, and planning before doing are all teamwork skills that campers can take home with them.

For Session 4, our theme is “Teamwork.” Counselors will be working with campers:

• To help them see how they contribute to their team and what special skills they bring to the group.

• To teach them to communicate well as a team, including how to brainstorm without judgment, listen to others’ ideas, and work through conflicts.

• To focus on how they can be good friends to their cabin mates.

More Optimism Tips

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts;

to believe in the heroic makes heroes.”
-Benjamin Disraeli

Since our theme this session is optimism, and it’s one of my favorite topics, I've been reading up on the topic and thinking about how it relates to my own family and to our campers. I thought I’d share with you some of what I’ve learned about the importance of teaching kids to be optimists.

According to Dr. Christine Carter in her booking Raising Happiness, “Ten-year-olds who are taught to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty.” Wow! With the rising statistics on kids and adults who suffer from depression and anxiety, that’s a pretty powerful reason to focus on helping our kids be more optimistic!

Carter recommends three ways parents (and counselors) can help kids be more optimistic: give affection; teach kids to cope with challenges and frustration; and model optimism ourselves. At camp, kids have ample opportunities to try new, often challenging activities. Learning to deal with the frustration of not being able to get up on water skiis on the first, second, third, or fourth try is a powerful lesson in both persistence and optimism. Our role is to help kids learn to handle setbacks and frustrations in a positive way and realize that “success is 99% failure.” (Soichiro Honda)

“Optimism is so closely related to happiness that the two can practically be equated," says Carter, whose research has found that optimistic people are:

• More successful in school, at work, and in athletics
• Healthier and longer lived
• More satisfied with their marriages

• Less likely to suffer from depression
• Less anxious

In an article titled “Raise Your Children to be Optimists,” Elizabeth Scott, MS, gives these ten tips for parents:

1. Help Them Experience Success

2. Give Credit for Success

3. Look for Future Success

4. Don't Praise Indiscriminately

5. Validate, but question

6. Remember Success in the Face of Failure

7. Look for "Opportunities to Improve"

8. Look for the Bright Side

9. Don't Use Negative Labels

10. Make an Example of Yourself

“The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.”

~Author Unknown

Smiling is another powerful tool in promoting optimism, so we practice a lot of smiling around GAC!

During this second week of Session 3, we will continue to promote optimism and help campers have a more optimistic outlook. We hope their new optimism habits will help campers approach life more positively when they get back home!

Resources:

The Optimistic Child: Raise Your Children to be Optimists

Benefits of Optimism

Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents, by Christine Carter, PH.D.

The Greater Good Science Center, U.C. Berkeley

Optimism Activities (Fishful Thinking website)